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ja det er rigtig nok han kører meget på rascisme, og det sort/hvide amerika. Og noget er måske lidt indforstået 'ghetto-humor', eller sådan "ja i hvide har nok aldrig hørt om det her, men vi sorte oplever det hver dag...." men synes nu det er rågrineren alligevel. Er kommet tæt på at holde lige så meget af det som Simpsons selvom det nærmer sig blasfemi.
'One thing I see, when you're walking down the street, you'll see a group of black dudes walking. You know not just any 'ol black dude, were talking 'thugs'
talking you know, there'd be some thugs. In a group..In a group they got like 1 and 2, sometimes as many as 3 white guys, you ever seen that shit? Let me tell you somethin' about those white guys!....
Those white guys are the most dangerous motherfuckers of those groups.....
Its true.....It's true man, ain't no tellin' what they'd done to get them black dudes respect.
Them black dudes have seen them do some wiiild shit I'll tell you that!
I've been tryin' to tell brothers that, every group of brothers should have at least one white guy there, I'm serious, for safety....
Cuz when the shit goes down..... somebodys gonna need to talk to the police....
Thats when that white friend comes in handy.
"Oh oh... Ernie! Wanna get this one?... come on now!.. Come over there! Do something!"
Cuz black people are very afraid of the police, that is a big part of our culture. No matter how rich you are, no matter how old you are, you're just afraid of them. We've got, we've got every reason to be afraid of them.
You know what I mean like, (Peger på en blandt publikum) You're a white lady, you ever been pulled over before ?
And what did they say?, they said may I see your drivers licence and your registration, right?.....See...See I'm just guessing.
Thats not what they say to us!
You wouldn't believe what they say to us
"Spread your cheeks, and lift your sack!"
'Like,'what the fuck???''Excuse me!'
"You heard me, Spread open your cheeks and lift your sack!"
'I've got a drivers license too..., theres easyer ways too prove who I am and shit...what does that prove? I can't go to the bank like that:
Cash my check, "What do you mean do you don't have any I.D.?"
"Wait a minut...."
( Vender røven til )
"Oh....Oh... Mr Chappelle right this way....why didn't you spread your cheeks from the beginning"
(somewhat gammel ting fra bo-de-gas'ne i half baked)
'It took me a while to learn that there was black thing, it was in New York City.
Now I was hanging out with a friend of mine, he's a white guy, you know, just hanging out. And we were lost in the city, smoking a joint.
And I don't know if it was coincedence that we were lost and high and shit, but....
My white buddy, he was smoking a joint (puff) "ohh Dave, its the goddamn cops (laaanng puff) I'm gonna ask him for directions"
I said "Chip, NO!! Chip Don't do it!!"
It was too late, this man was walking over there, he was high ass shit
"Excuse me, excuse me sir" toughing him and shit "Excuse me!, I need some information....uhh" starts confessing things he shouldn't confess "I'm a little hiigh, all I wanna know... which way is 3rd street?
The cops like "Hey take it easy!!!"
"You're on 3rd Street...you better be careful, go ahead move it....Moooove it"
Thats all that happened thats the end of the story...
Now I know thats not amazing to some of you, but if you ask one of these black fellas, that shit is fucking incredible isn't it?!
I'm saying a black man would never dream of talking to the police high...Thats a waste of weed. Serious. I'd be scrared of talking to the police while sleeping, they be fucking around getting the wrong ideas..
(Slår med mikrofonen)
"Oh my god, that niggah was on PCP, Johnson,
"I had to use necessary force...You saw him" "No no, no paperwork just sprinkle some crack on him, lets get out of here"
Another time me and Chip was driving, I'm not drivin', Chip is drivin', and hes drivin' a little crazy, he's been drinking. I don't like to let my friends drive drunk, but you know, I was smoking a joint, I couldn't really say shit to the guy. Then we get at a red light, we stop at a red light.
And a car pulls up next to us, and I'll never forget it.
Chip, looks over at me, you know drunk and everything and says:
"Dave, I'm gonna race him"
I knew it was a bad idea, but I was high, I tried to explain it to him it was a bad idea, but all that came out was (puff puff)"Well nigga, sometimes you gotta race I dont know..."(puff puff puff)
Man, that light turned green and Chip took off...zigzagging and shit, cutting paths, the other car properbly didn't even know it was racing.
The police seen us, and pulled us over.
I'll tell you, I'm scared as shit, I mean, man, the car smells like weed, we've been speeding, this man is fucking drunk.....I'm scared!
Chip was not scared at all, it was weird, he didn't even turn his radio down, isn't that weid at little ?
When we get pulled over, don't you turn the radio down a little?
Nobody wants to get there ass beat to a soundtrack and shit
Y'know what I'm sayin' Chip had the music blasting: "WERE NOT GONNA TAKE IT....."
He says "Dave, just relax.....Close your buttcheeks!!, relax, let me to the talking"
Wanna know what he said? This was almost exactually what he said, he says "Ohh....Ohhh.....I'm sorry officer, I ....I didn't know I couldn't do that"
I was fucking shocked
The cops says "Well now you know!, just get out of here, get the fuck out of here"
"Ok sir, I will sir thank you " (Kører videre)
"What? , whats wrong with you Dave?"
"I didn't know I couldn't do that???"
"That was good wasn't it?!, because I did know I couldn't do that, hahaha"
I was shocked, I wasn't shocked because he dazzed? you, I was shocked because I would have never thought to say that. I don't think any black
dude would think to say that. Cuz they know that we know the law
Every black dude in this room, is a qualified paralegal and shit, he knows the law. When one of us is even starting to do something wrong, a old black man will pop out of nowhere "Nigga don't do that, thats 5 to 10!...Watch out!"
We know the laws and the penalties, god Chip didn't even know he couldn't race. I'm not saying I don't like police, not saying that, I'm saying I'm just scared of 'em nothin' wrong with that. Sometimes we wanna call them too
Somebody broke in to my house ones, thats a good time to call 'em, but uhm uhm, the house is too nice. It ain't a real nice house, but they'd newer believe I live there.
"Uhh, he's still here"
(Slår med mikrofonen)
"Ohh my god.....Open and shut case, Johnson.....I saw this once before when I was a rookie, apparently this nigger broke in and hung up pictures of his family everywhere......Well lets sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here..."
_________________
Let Go And Let God!
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